Dating By Numbers Part 2

 

 

By Adele Ross

The fairer sex as women would like to be known has sadly become the very last way we should be described. Our ambition in all things known to life has turned us into vultures waiting for the opportunity to swoop in and grab the leftovers straight from the men. Women no longer leave anything to chance and to add insult to injury we are more than happy to be called anything under the sun from a princess to a waste of time.

The 7 men to one woman ratio doesn’t make the matter easier either, but we lower our standards with the exception of a few who are praying to E.T that the 50’s will return and they no longer have to work. Again. Read this with a bucket of salt and keep the expectations of fancy compliments to a minimum. If a date is what you are looking for before Valentines Day, then it’s best you keep your eyes peeled so you know exactly who you’ll be spending your hard earned money on. This is Dating by Numbers Part 2.

 

The women are as follows:

The Peasant           The Princess           The Queen

The Peasant

trashy1Source: rutgersconsumersociety.wordpress.com

She’s the everyday girl. The girl who packs your groceries, takes your money at the counter, is not afraid to shout really loudly to get someone’s attention in the street and wears hand me downs on purpose. In her mind, she works hard to make ends meet and although she is likely to not be able to spell the word hard, with enough effort she will get you exactly that.
Do not expect fancy moves in bed either. The only trick she has learned is to lie down on her back and scream at the right moments. This woman has been handed a bad set of cards and she might in her mind wish for the success that she sees with her peers, but she might also be ghetto she so doesn’t know any better. She is looking for a man who can save her from her misery, but her lack of mental stability will always leave you to question her motives. She is often skinny because she doesn’t eat properly and will easily make fun of fat people really loudly. She is likely to be a nag and her upkeep of personal grooming might be shoddy to say the least. Do not expect a proper make up tutorial from this woman. If natural is what you are looking for then she is right
up your alley. Her dress sense might not come to the table, but in her mind she is dressing to the nines based on the standards set by her surroundings.
She loves cheap processed food from the cafe on the corner where you can also buy condoms out of a vending machine and a cheap date she will definitely be if you consider a trip to McDonald’s a date. Her vocal ability accompanied by her need to be right will always ring in your ear like ache a baby gets when they are cutting teeth. Mood swings follow her around and she does not care much for the discretion of what’s
happening under your mother’s skirt. Much like her male opposite, the below 3, she will drag you down to her level and keep you trapped with a bunch of out of wedlock babies and the promise of collecting money on time from the welfare. You will develop a drug habit after being with her long enough. No fancy hairdo, no fancy words, no fancy anything. If a cheap thrill is what you are after, stick around.

The Princess

Emma-Watson_2922063bSource: telegraph.com.uk

The Princess is 2 floors above the peasant. With this only being a 4 story climb, 2 stories are a lot. She’s the educated woman a little more than extra cash in her pockets to support her fashion favorites, but only to a minimum so you can get the idea that she is not an overspender, but also not completely broke.
She works in the field of her diploma and will always be striving for better academically, financially and socially. She might go the fancy places that the Queen lives at, but this is a grounded woman who doesn’t feel the need to show off to the wrong people and is willing to go dutch at the end of a date if she is not willing to pay the full bill from time to time. Her grooming is top notch but kept to a minimal and
although not La Mer, is still good enough for you to be sure that she doesn’t have an underground lab to make beauty products and or crystal meth.
Her body might not be 100% perfect, but her style helps to conceal the muffin top and thunder thighs under her work jacket, high waisted jeans or spandex.. She is likely to be a good kisser particularly because she bothers to brush her teeth on time and her lips do not look like she had them wrapped around a crack pipe or a dick all night. Her hair
might not always be in the Hollywood glams and she might smell as lovely as if a unicorn peed on her, but there are flaws to show her hard work like an occasional chipped nail or cracked heels from time to time.

She works hard so she will be in the market for a man that understands missing your pedicure appointment. She is not a selfish lover, but what she may lack in looks she will make up for in love. This, if you can overlook the flaws, is the kind of woman you should take home. Her need to move forward can either bring you into a state of shock or it can take you to new levels where you might learn a thing or 2. Do not challenge her level of smarts with your childish intellect if you are yet to make your way our of a diaper. She is not afraid to correct you, stand up for herself or leave if she feels she is not being treated well. Prepare yourself for lovely home cooked meals served by an apron
wearing beauty in a power suit. Either way, try and take her home… to your mother.
She might increase the amount of money you get from her life insurance as a gift for taking home the right girl.

The Queen

Kim-Kardashian_3136553bSource: telegraph.co.uk

She’s a bitch baby who usually works in a department store selling shoes, perfume or snapshots of her boobs. She is one of, if not the prettiest girl in the bunch and well aware of the attention she gets from men and woman alike. She is always in fancy clothes like she is off to a permanent wedding and the bill will always be high because her throat is always open for another glass of champers.
The top hang out spots sends her personal invitations to come and hang out there in a hope that she might draw a more attractive crowd once her minions follow her there. She has no problem looking down on you and yes she will go down on you practically anytime you ask as long as you are willing to let her bring out the ugly laugh. She will love you for you car, your money and your clothes before they hit the floor and as long as you can keep her entertained she will always be happy to entertain you.
There is no ambition here because her looks would have gotten her most things in life and her need to be popular and trendy is the only thing that certifies her as a go-getter. Other than being mean to people she does not feel class worthy, she will make your life a living nightmare with her constant yapping, gossiping, and requests.

Be ready to chauffeur her around and if this is your kind of thing then make sure you have enough juice in your car. A fat bank balance will guarantee you what may seem like her interest in the things you do to maintain that bank balance, but lets face it she can’t hear you because every time you speak, the lottery rings in her ear like the casino floor in Vegas.
Her mother does not mind her looking like a tramp because she is counting on the long run happening. This long run will cover bills and expenses when she gets light of the opportunity and might start hinting at gifts for herself. Avoid this girl, avoid her mother. A porn star she will be, but don’t forget that much like a 24 hour take away joint, her vagina is always open and a breeding ground for entrapment. Keep her if you are looking for arm candy that will help go from a number 8 to a below 3 in moments. You will get annoyed, you will want to cheat, but you will get caught and she will set you alight.
So with this in mind, be cautious. Give settling down time to happen, but do it when you are ready to make the change from boy to man. It will take a mature mind to see the difference between these women because sadly once all of them have their legs open, you forget all about the names rules.

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