The Dumbest Laws – US Edition

Laws are the system of rules which we abide by accordingly to which country or community we are in. And the breaking of thus rules can enforce light to severe penalties accordingly to the offense which was committed. Simple right? Abide the rules or be punished. Pretty clear cut one must think. Well for the most part anyway.

Laws have been governing societies since the early parts of humanity, and over the course of that there have been; new inclusions, removals and modifications, accordingly to the circumstances of the what society wants. But in some cases these pre-existing laws just don’t get changed or removed and remain within the constitution for everybody recognize and follow. I have no doubt that you’ve heard of or come across a law that is just stupendous, outrageous or even ludicrous. You wonder why they were ever enforced in the first place, and more or less you think that it should just be common sense.

So next time you travel around the US, whatever state you may be in, you should know what ‘not’ to do. Here are some of the dumbest laws in all 50 states of the US.



It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.



Moose may not be viewed from airplanes.

It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving aircraft.


Cutting a cactus down may result in a 25-year sentence to prison.

It is illegal for anyone to own more than two sex toys.

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.


It is illegal to mispronounce the name of the state ‘Arkansas’.

Alligators are prohibited from being kept in bathtubs.


In Los Angeles, it is illegal for a customer in a meat market to ‘poke’ the turkey to see how tender it is.

It is illegal to peel an orange in a hotel room.

In Berkeley, it is illegal for you to whistle for your lost canary before 7am.

A frog that dies during a frog jumping contest cannot be eaten.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed speeds over 60 miles an hour.


In Boulder, boulders may not be rolled on city property.

It is illegal to bring a horse or packed mule above the ground floor of any building.

In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.


It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

In order for a pickle to be called a pickle, it must bounce.


Alcohol may not be served at nightclubs if dancing is taking place at the same time on the premise.

It is illegal to fly over any body of water unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.



Women who kill themselves by electrocution in a bathtub with a ‘self-beautification device’ will be fined.

If an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee must be paid just as you would for a vehicle.

Dwarf tossing at bars are illegal and owners of the bars will be fined.



In Quitman, a chicken is not allowed to cross the road.

You are not allowed to eat fried chicken any other way than using your hands.

In Kenneshaw requires you to own a gun if you own a home.



You are prohibited from putting pennies in your ear.

You will be fined if you are in the backseat of a car without a seatbelt, but you can ride in the bed of a pick-up truck with no safety equipment.

All residents may be fined for not owning a boat.


You cannot fish whilst on the back of a camel.

It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy that weighs less than 50 pounds.



In Chicago, it is illegal to eat at an establishment that is on fire.

In Joliet women can be arrested for trying on more than 6 dresses in one store.

Animals can be sent to jail.

It is a crime to own in excess of $600 worth of salamanders.



Liquor stores may be prohibited from selling water, soda or milk.

No one may catch a fish with their hands.

If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.



It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

One-armed piano players must play for free.

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

In Marshalltown, horses are prohibited from eating fire hydrants.



In Natoma, it is illegal to practice knife throwing at men wearing striped suits.

If a woman rapes a man becomes pregnant, she can sue the victim for child support.

In Topeka, servers are prohibited to serve wine in teacups.

Shooting rabbits from a motorboat is prohibited.



A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.

One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.




It can be considered as aggravated assault is someone bites someone with dentures, whilst biting with your own teeth is only simple assault.

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.



It is illegal to tickle a girl under the chin with a feather duster.

If you keep your Christmas decorations on display after January 14, you’ll be fined.


It is illegal to take a lion to the movies.

It’s against the law to wash or scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is.


Prohibits women to be on top during sex.

Mourners are prohibited from eating more than three sandwiches during a wake.

Taxi driver are prohibited from having sex in the front seat during their shift.

No gorilla is allowed in the backseat of any car.



A woman may not cut her hair without her husband’s permission.

It is legal for a robber to file a lawsuit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

In Clawson, there is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.



Any game that involves participants to capture a greased or oiled pig is illegal.

A person may not cross state lines with a duck on their head.

It is illegal to sleep naked.



If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.

It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.

Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.



Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).

Children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.

In Marquette, it is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).


In Helena, women are forbidden from dancing on tables or bars unless they are wearing at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.

It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.



A parent can be arrested if their child can not hold back a burp during a church service.

No person who is afflicted with a venereal disease can marry.

It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.



In Eureka, it is illegal for a man with a mustache to kiss a woman.

In Reno, it is illegal to carry out a marathon dance or marathon walk.

It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.


New Hampshire

It is illegal to carry away or collect seaweed at night.

You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.


New Jersey

It is illegal to sell cabbage on Sundays.

You need a doctor’s note to buy ice cream after 6pm.

It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.


New Mexico

Women are forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

“Idiots” cannot vote in a much more loosely applied term.

Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.

In Deming, hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.


New York

In Woodstock, it is illegal to walk your bear without a leash.

It is illegal to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.


North Carolina

It is against the law to sing off key.

It is illegal to hold more than two bingo games a week, and those sessions cannot exceed over 5 hours at a time.

A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.


North Dakota

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with shoes on.

Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.



One cannot kill a housefly within 160 ft of a church.

Every operator of an underground coal mine must provide an adequate supply of toilet paper with each toilet.

In Canton, if one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.



It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

It is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7pm.

It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.



It is prohibited to use canned corn as fishing bait.

Leaving urine or fecal matter in containers on the side of the road is illegal.

Drivers may not pump their own gas.



You cannot barter a baby.

A person is not eligible to become Governor if she or he has participated in a duel.

It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.


Rhode Island

You may not sell a toothbrush and a toothpaste to the same customer on Sunday.

People who purposely bite off someone else’s limb will face up to 20 years.

Cap guns are illegal.

Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing or testing the speed of the horse is illegal.


South Carolina

A male over 16 cannot seduce a woman by falsely promising marriage.

Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.

A person must be eighteen years old to play a pinball machine.

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.


South Dakota

You are prohibited to have sex on the floor between two beds in a hotel room.

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.



You must believe in God to be elected into office.

It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee.

Interracial marriages are illegal.



It’s illegal to sell your eyeballs.

In San Antonio flirting is against the law.

It is legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it is illegal to reciprocate.

An invitation from a third party can trump a restraining order.

It is illegal to milk another man’s cow.

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of or owning more than six dildos.



Marriage between cousins is only illegal if they are younger than 65.

No one may hurl a missile at a bus or bus terminal.

Having sex with animals is illegal, but only if it’s for money.

It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.



In Montpelier, there are no laws for public nudity, but as long as you are already naked before you leave your home or venue, as it is illegal to disrobe in public.

It is illegal to paint a horse.

Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

At one time, it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.



In Waynesboro, It is against the law for a woman to drive a car in Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

Police radar detectors are illegal.

If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.



You can be arrested or fined for harassing Bigfoot.

In Seattle, a goldfish can ride the city bus in bowls only if they keep still.

It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the Chief of Police as he is entering the town in the state of Washington.

No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.


West Virginia

It is illegal to hunt using a ferret.

Roadkill may be taken home for supper.

For each act of public swearing, a person shall be fined one dollar.



It is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his partner has an orgasm.

All cheeses coming out of Wisconsin must be “highly pleasing”.

Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless it is requested by the customer.



You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

In Newcastle, it is illegal to have sex whilst in a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

Any person who fails to close a fence is subject to a fine of up to seven hundred and fifty dollars.


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