Why Do People Hate Nickelback?

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Why do people hate Nickelback?

What would you say if I told you that Nickelback has made a resurgence this year and are going to release a new album by the end of the year? There’s probably going to be a few profanities thrown around. I sure did.

Before I begin I just want to make it clear that “I do not like Nickelback!” There aren’t many things in the world that I “loathe”, but Nickelback is one of them. Naturally speaking I can probably end this article on this note and probably achieve what I wanted to. And you know what. People would probably nod their heads in agreement. Urban Dictionary defines “Nickelback” as an act of willfully allowing one’s ears to bleed. And truthfully said, if their plan was to cause detriment in the world of music they successfully terrorized our lives.

I’d like to think that the fan base of Nickelback, is either Canadian (and even this is speculative) or the members of Creed (The Nickelback before Nickelback), therefore leaving the rest of the world pleading for them to stop whatever they’re trying to do. I mean in 2011 there was a specific petition to get them to NOT play at a Detroit Lions game. Over 50,000 people signed this.

The only reason Nickelback is somewhat tolerable (well this is even a stretch but) is the comedic value they bring to our table. Most jokes runs its course pretty quickly. You hear it, you laugh and that’s it. The end. But Nickelback is no ordinary joke. You cannot dog pile on it enough. The countless jokes, memes, parodies and sketches which are out there is actually ridiculous. Like I mean there’s thousands and thousands of these. Generally speaking there are pop culture references not on their music, but more so on ‘how shit” they are.

Nothing lightens the mood like a good joke about Nickelback – said every comedian ever! Even popular viral video, “Shit Nobody Says,” opens with the line, “Hey, can I borrow a copy of your Nickelback CD?

Enough said, right? Well, kind of. It still doesn’t really clear up why people all around the world hate Nickelback. I mean realistically, there are countless amounts of names that have less musical ability, who are more liked. Even then, you don’t have to have musical ability and still be more liked than Nickelback. Names like Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber ruins the music industry but still manages to be more loved than Chad Kroeger and his band.

With this in mind, a closer inspection was in order.

Their music really sucks and hurts our ears.

Image: fanart.tv

Image: fanart.tv

Let’s be honest, if they made good music people probably wouldn’t hate them as much. It’s the obvious answer to why they are so repulsive. All their songs sound the same. I mean I get that it’s their style and all

but, that doesn’t mean they can’t change it up. I personally would rather read and explain the book ‘120 days of Sodom’ to 10-year old kids than listen to another dreary Nickelback song.

Just like wearing crocs, listening to Nickelback may be one of the safest methods of birth control. Honestly! It’s worse than having a Justin Bieber poster on your bedroom wall (well they’re equally effective). And you know what. Critics have continually criticized them for their work as well.

“if you’re looking for originality, you might want a full refund instead of a Nickelback.” “All the Right Reasons is so depressing, you’re almost glad Kurt’s not around to hear it,” ––Rolling Stone

“Like all Nickelback releases before it, All The Right Reasons was made for all the wrong ones and follow all the formulas and cliche’s you should be bored to death of by now,”––Tiny Mix Tapes

On top of all that is the tough grunge persona that they seem to carry out. For all that it’s worth. They suck at that as well. Sure they have a hoarse voice with a lot of yelling and shouting, but musically speaking they are missing the intricacy that makes ‘grunge’ a sub genre of rock n roll. They pretty much write their songs around power chords. No joke. Through an untrained ear you can’t tell the difference, but for those who know their music would know immediately this is the case. A rather pompous and pretentious move to manipulate the mass by making their music sound ‘complex’.

Their lyrics are ‘what’?!

Okay, so you probably haven’t listened to one of their songs long enough to realize what they are singing about. Believe me, that’s a good thing. You’d actually be shocked what lies under the surface of a lot of Nickelback’s songs.

I mean the current music industry is wholesome in the nonsensical crap that is ever so catchy. The likes of Carly Rae Jepsen, Nikki Minaj, Pitbull and Justin Bieber are perfect examples to the ‘crap’ that is available, and you can’t help but to sing along to it. It just gets ingrained in your brain.

Nickelback, on the other hand, do not use ‘fly’ or catchy rhymes. No sir. For example, you look at the song “Photograph”. Yeah, I know I don’t particularly want to bring it up but take a look.nickelback

(Enter sarcasm here) “Wow! They’re just lyrically gifted. They must have been poets in a past life.” Were they joking around when they made these lyrics? Maybe they were watching Bert and Ernie play the Rhyming Game on Sesame Street. Who knows? How on earth did this song reach no.2 on the Billboard Charts? It almost makes Pitbull rhyming Kodak with Kodak look genius.

But do you know what Nickelback predominately sing about? Well, they pretty much sing about all the topics you wouldn’t think they would. Sex, drugs, prostitution, drinking, and strippers. I know, right? And they go into some real details about it. But in a totally creepy way that graphically sets the scene. Check it out.

“For 48 hours I don’t think that we left my hotel room. Should show you the sights ’cause I’m sure that I said that I would. We gotta make love just one last time in the shower” – Feelin Way Too Damn Good (2004)

“You’re beside me on the seat. Got your hand between my knees. And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze. It’s hard to steer when you’re breathing in my ear. But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears. By now, no doubt that we were heading south. I guess nobody taught her not to speak with a full mouth. Cause this was it, like flicking off a switch. It felt so good I almost drove into a ditch. I’m screamin’!” – Animals (2005)

“You’re ripping up the dance floor, honey. You shake your ass around for everyone. I love the way you dance with anybody.And tease them all by sucking on your thumb. You’re so much cooler when you never pull it out. Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth.” – Something In Your Mouth (2008)

What the Shit!? Everyone probably thought Nickelback was for ‘all ages’. So if you were to ever play it to your kids… Oh, I forgot you don’t have kids because you listen to Nickelback. My bad.

But regardless, by this point you probably feel really uncomfortable. Slowly Chad Kroeger is coming across as some sort of a sexual predator. You have a sudden urge to lock all your windows and doors. Don’t worry it is completely normal. I sure did. Scared shitless and in the fetal position at the bottom of my shower.

So in essence they lack creativity and originality for the most parts, and when they do decide to get creative, they get well freaky and creepy. There’re no two ways to see it. Nickelback’s lyrics are poorly contrived to creep the shit out of us.

Chad Kroeger – The Main Man

www.digitalspy.com

www.digitalspy.com

So you’re probably just coming to terms with ‘how’ and ‘why’ Nickelback is so hated. The music they make sounds much like scratching a chalkboard. It makes you cringe. You’ve never moved quicker to change the song or the station. Well, you have Chad Kroeger, the front man of Nickelback to thank for that!

Everything from the choice of music to the lyrics they sing were heavily influenced by him. I mean he is the lead so that’s what he does. But more and more you think about Chad Kroeger the likelier that he will haunt you.

We have already established that the lyrics he sings creeps the shit out of everyone. But in person he looks creepy as shit. The whole appeal of long blonde hair and the brown goatee together doesn’t scream rockstar (on him at least), it more or less comes across as whispering. More specifically, into a child’s ear. I can certainly see him being denied entry into any Chuck E Cheese establishment.

But it is not the fact that he is NOT a good looking person that makes him hated. It’s more so the persona that he is, the involvement of the band, the grunge style rock and lyrics. It’s the overall package and it all reflects back. Like his mismatch facial hair, the world split into two groups. The ones who had no idea about their existence and the ones who hated him.

They’re Canadian

Unless you’re talking winter sports, there are only a handful of celebrities that break out of Canada. It’s rather tragic but true. The great white north isn’t reputable for their plethora of talent.

When was the last time a good Canadian music artist came on to the music scene? Seriously! It has definitely been a while. With the exception of a few artists like; Drake and Alanis Morissette. It is few and far between. Canada has not been a real go to place to source for musicians. Sure they have had Bryan Adams, Neil Young, Celine Dion and even Paul Schaffer, but talent seems to be pretty scarce.

It definitely doesn’t look good when you have both Nickelback and Justin Bieber coming from the same country. A total double whammy.

Sorry, Canada on behalf of everyone else, not from Canada.

It’s just easier to hate them (Bandwagon Hate)

Hating Nickelback (not for me personally) has become more of an infatuation to hate. A trend. People like to follow rather than oppose and rise up against. Welcome to the 21st century.

Regardless to what your beliefs may be, popularity takes precedence. For all I know this could be the number one cause for the mass hate Nickelback has. The readily available technology now days play a big part of the rise and fall of anyone. It could be me, you and even Nickelback. But really guys? Come on.

You can hate them, but it should be on your own merits, not someone telling you to ‘hate them’. Have an opinion.

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