By Erin Russell
We all know one; someone who raves about the classics, is eager to offer up their opinion on the best books of all time and won’t hesitate to tell you who their favourite author is. The kind of person who would prefer to lug around an entire novel then succumb to the convenience of the Kindle. Someone who aspires to be like Jane Austen, or write a cult classic like Mary Shelley, a person who corrects your literary references or continuously reminds you that Frankenstein is the man, not the monster. If any of these sound familiar to you, you may be a book snob. Here’s a simple list to help you out.
1. You insist the book must be read before the movie.
Of course the book is better than the movie, we all know that, but not everyone is going to read it. Seeing a movie with you is no fun if you keep whispering in our ears “ugh, this wasn’t in the book” and “this was so much better when I was reading it.” Just enjoy the movie and appreciate that your favourite novel has made it to the big screen. No one wants to hear how bad the characterisation is or how large chunks of the book were left out. If you keep up this complaining the number of friends willing to see a movie with you will seriously dwindle, and then you’ll have to go by yourself, which is nowhere near as fun, and slightly weird.
2. Buying the movie cover of a book is a mortal sin.
If you insist that a book must only be bought with its original cover, you’re a snob. It’s inevitable that the movie poster will be made into the book cover. Just embrace the fact and move on. The words inside are still the same, and you should be congratulating someone on buying a book, not ridiculing them because it’s not the original cover. Just accept and move on, it does not, nor should not, affect how you view that person, just pat them on the back, tell them how proud you are that they’re reading, and go on your merry way.
3. You think reading classics makes you well read.
Classics are if we’re been honest; boring. Who really wants to keep a thesaurus next to them to look up every second word? Or read long winded paragraphs about the scenery. People who say they genuinely enjoy classics are either lying to you or lying to themselves. Read whatever you want; don’t feel bad that you’re thirty years old and enjoy a good teen vampire novel, or deny that any of the Andy Griffiths novels aren’t hilarious, because everyone enjoys a good bum story, even if they won’t admit it. Embrace the wonderful world of imagination, and if love triangles between humans, vampires and werewolves tickle your fancy then so be it. Show no shame when whipping out your novel about sappy teenage romances, don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thing.
4. You refuse to use a Kindle.
Like ever- you won’t stop whining about how Kindles “aren’t real books” and how anyone who uses them is a traitor to literature. Not only are they convenient, but they can store thousands of books, making them perfect for holidays or long train rides. Despite their practicality, you are still adamant on lugging around the entirety of your Jane Austen collection, just so you can ‘feel the book’ and ‘smell the pages’.
5. You threaten to reveal spoilers.
This is just another way you show off your superior reading skills; you hang spoilers over people’s head, threatening to reveal which Game of Thrones character dies next if people won’t do what you say. Spoilers are never cool, and revealing the end of the Harry Potter series to that group of friends, well let’s just say they will never forget, and never forgive. Just keep those precious endings to yourself and wait for others to reach it on their own, no one likes a know it all.
Have you thought that maybe it’s time to leave your beloved book collection at home and embrace the new? The wonderful thing about literature is how accessible it has become. More people than ever before have access to a wide range of books. Shouldn’t you, as an avid book lover, be encouraging this new found appreciation for the written word? It might be time to put these negative, traditional thoughts behind you and jump on the encouragement bandwagon, isn’t a generation of well-read individuals worth the cost of tossing away your dusty classics and picking up one of those weird ‘ebooks?’